What I Learned Watching Fox News

I've been watching Fox News a bit more lately.  Here's some of what I've learned:

Job Creators

Wealthy people are actually job creators.   They are just itching to create jobs, but they haven't been lately because they're afraid that some of their tax deductions might go away.  While Job Creators love creating jobs, if they have to pay more taxes, they'll just say "forget it" and not create more jobs.

I used to think that jobs were created when lots of regular people wanted buy more stuff than businesses were able to produce, so to gear up production they hired more people, but now I know that all you have to do to create more jobs is to have Jobs Creators pay less tax.  And the less tax they pay, the more jobs they'll create.  Giving more money to people who don't already have enough to be job creators is useless, because they'll just spend it on products and services.  That doesn't create jobs - Job Creators create jobs when they pay less tax.

Redistribution of Wealth

This is about how Barack Obama wants to take all the money away from job creators who earned it and give it away to people who did not earn it.   This is Socialism, which is bad.   While I never heard Obama say he wanted to do this, many Tea Partiers, Republicans and people on Fox News say he does so it must be true.

At first I thought redistribution of wealth was what the economy was all about.  People spend money on products and services.  Companies that produce these products and services pay their employees, suppliers and stockholders, redistributing the wealth to all sorts of places.  But know I know redistribution of wealth is a socialist evil.  People are only entitled to money they already have, whether they earned it though hard work, their parents' hard work, their employee's hard work, by laying off hard workers, or by selling collateralized debt obligation securities composed of mortgages made to people who won't be able to pay them back.  You should never ask your boss for a raise because that is attempting to redistribute wealth from job creators to job takers.

Obama's Re-Election

According to Senator Mitch McConnell, his top priority is to ensure Barack Obama is a one-term President.  Therefore, anything that makes Obama look good is to be avoided. Since a well functioning government and recovered economy would make Obama's re-election more likely, it is a priority for McConnell and his allies to ensure that the the economy remains stagnant and Congress accomplishes as little as possible.  If the debt ceiling talks fail, the economy tanks, unemployment soars and middle class retirement savings evaporate, that can be good news if enough people blame it on Obama.

Other Things I Learned on Fox News.

• I learned from Rep Allen West that if someone points out that the policy you advocate would be bad for your constituents, the best response is to call that person names.
• When Congressman John Boehner says "moved the goal posts,"  that means "held the goal posts while I tried to move them."
• I learned from Republican presidential candidate Herb Cain that First Amendment Freedom of Religion does not apply to Muslims. 
• The people on FOX News also say that Obama wants to make America more like Canada or France.  I'm not sure what's wrong with that, because Canada seems like a nice place when I visit and France looks great on the Tour de France coverage.  Maybe they don't want more people here to speak French. 
• In addition to the War on Terror and the War on Drugs, there is also a War on Christmas.
• If same sex couples are allowed to get married, heterosexual people will divorce in huge numbers, unmarried couples will no longer want get married, and the institution of marriage will then be destroyed.